THE ULTIMATE PUNISHMENT

There was a call today for the return of capital punishment for the most heinous and serious crimes known to man, such as calling someone a chink or a pleb, suggesting the Jews were interested in making money or tweeting a picture of a house with St George’s flags and a white van.
  Those committing lesser crimes such as multi-million pound fraud, (referred to a mis-selling), would have
their bonuses reduced.

BABY,BABY

I, Halfabrain, have received confidential information concerning the names of the new Royal baby.  In order to keep the common touch, the new arrival is to be called Kevin Jason Wayne, and the eventual coronation of King Kevin will mark a new era in the British Constitution.  Also I am told that the sea will boil, pigs will fly and politicians will always tell the truth.

WHEN IS A COUP NOT A COUP?

US Secretary of State John Kerry has again refused to describe the ousting of Egyptian President Mohammed Morsi as a military coup.  Morsi was awarded power in an election that was recognised as generally fair with a majority of 51% and was imprisoned for his trouble, and several of his followers murdered by the military.

According to the Encyclopaedia Britannica      a coup d’état, 
also called a coup, is the sudden, violent overthrow of an existing government by a small group. The chief prerequisite for a coup is the control of all or part of the armed forces, the police, and other military elements. 
This would appear to be an exact match for the Egyptian situation.
 So why is the West not up in arms; because their preferred candidates did not win the original election, (cf Algeria). We apparently only believe in democracy when we win, and if a winning margin of 51% is marginal, where does that leave Cameron and Clegg and why do we have Police Commissioners

A TESTING TIME

Childrens’ performances  in English and maths, at the age of 11 will, in future, be compared on a national basis, said Nick Clegg.  The assessments  will be based on the results of yet another exam which is to be introduced, and will allow children to be classified as high, low or average performers.  More opportunities  for “teaching to the exam” and distorted league tables. It brings to mind the old country saying “You don’t fatten a pig by keep weighing it!”

THIS IS WI TU LO, YOUR CAPTAIN, SPEAKING.........

The airline Asiana is to sue the news channel KTSB for giving false, racially offensive names for the pilots involved in the San Francisco aircrash, as they felt that it would damage the company’s reputation. I think that you will find that bringing the flight in too slowly, missing the runway and knocking off the tail killing three passengers will probably have a far more deleterious effect                                                                  on Asiana’s good name.

BIG BROTHER

   Edward Swowden, a 29-year-old former technical assistant for the CIA is now the USA’s public enemy No 1. And his chrime?  Mass murder, plotting the downfall of civilisation as we know it or selling secrets to the enemy?  No, none of these. He has embarrassed the US  Government by revealing that they have access to the ordinary citizen’s e-mails, text messages and Twitter accounts and have shared these with the UK, the so-called home of democracy.

      And so will begin the call for his extradition back to the States.  Whilst it is obviously not acceptable to extradite someone to Jordan, because they may use evidence obtained by torture, it is OK to send them to America despite the USA having the death penalty ( especially if you’re black,) sponsoring  torture  (extraordinary rendition) an keeping people prisoners for years without charge or trial (Guantanamo Bay). It’s great to have standards but double standards are twice as good!

FRIED CHICKENGATE

We’re at it again, concentrating on the trivia of life and ignoring the big issues.  Sergio Garcia has committed the heinous and unforgivable crime of suggesting that he would invite Tiger Woods to dinner and serve fried chicken.  I can hear the sighs of horror…… fried chicken. There are demands that Garcia be sacked, banned from golf or hung drawn and quartered for this outrageous behaviour. Thank heavens there is nothing more important happening such as homicidal religious maniacs wandering the streets, the financial backbone of the western world collapsing or global warming altering our weather patterns.  Honestly…..fried chicken.