.....AND FRIGHTENED MISS MOFFAT AWAY

A new family of spiders has been discovered in the USA, in caves in Oregon and California.  The arachnid, which has been named Trogloraptor (cave robber),is 4cm long when extended and has vicious and impressive claws.  Experts say it is “ a fierce and specialised predator” although they are, as yet, unable to determine exactly what it eats.  However, it has been noted that one of the scientists investigating the caves has not been seen for several days.

BUT IT'S CHEAP

They’re at it again.  The Government has handed the franchise for the running of the West Coast Mainline to the UK's largest rail operator, FirstGroup, who made what industry insiders have described as a "suicide" offer of £6.5bn to £7bn to run the line.  The unions say that this will lead to a reduced service and job losses, and there is a fear that it may result in the new operator going bust.  Once again the Government may have failed to recognise the difference between “value” and “cheapness” and have illustrated its lack of skill contracting out business, only time will tell.  It is possible that Virgin, the current franchisees may pull out of rail transport completely, so what price competition then.

COMIC IN PERIL

Following reports of declining sales, the comic, "The Dandy" may be facing closure.  A spokesman for D.C. Thompson, named as Dan, said the situation was desperate.

YOU'LL GO QUICKER BY RAIL

From January, there will be an average increase of regulated rail fairs, mostly season tickets, of 6.2%.  To add insult to injury this does not even guarantee a seat. Although Health and Safety has a bad name these days, consider this.  There are moves to make cycling helmets compulsory, the typical speed of a cycle is 10mph, people travelling by car are compelled to be seated and wear a seat belts, maximum legal speed 70 mph, and yet we allow people to stand up, totally unprotected, in trains travelling at up to 140 mph. Presumably, the thinking is, that, following the relentless assault from increased ticket prices, passengers have already lost the will to live.

ALL THAT GLISTERS .......

The wonderful 2012 London Olympics have drawn to a close, a triumph of organisation, dedication and creativity.  Congratulations to all involved in the organisation.

The performance of our athletes has also been remarkable, obtaining a brilliant third in the medals table.Now, far be it from me to inject a sour note into the euphoria, nor yet cast a curmudgeonly veil over this achievement, but I would humbly suggest this is not the case.  True, we received more gold medals than Russia, who were officially placed forth, but this ignores all the silver and bronze medals.  If we consider total medals, Russia had 82 and GB 65; third place Russia.  But, I hear you cry, that values a bronze medal as equivalent to a gold.  So let us weight the value of the medals  gold 3, silver 2,  and bronze 1.  Total scores Russia 156, GB 140. Well, perhaps the differential of the weighting should be increased, say,  gold 5, silver 3 and bonze 1.  Total scores Russia 230 GB 215.  Russia still beat us.

Congratulations therefore, to the GB team for their brilliant performance in obtaining a superb and creditable fourth place in the overall medals table and a little less mathematical spin please .

REVERTING TO TYPE

So, as the London Olympics come to an end, I assume that it will be business as usual in the rest of the world; war, killing, mayhem, fraud, cheating and lying, banker's bonuses and other criminality.  I do however think that it shows great deference to GB that the rest of so-called humanity was willing to postpone its murderous ways for a couple of weeks to allow us to fill our papers, cover to cover, with sport                                                           

BORIS FLIES IN

     Perhaps in an attempt to investigate a new transport opportunity for the capital, Boris Johnson, the tousled-haired Mayor of London, attempted  to travel on a zipwire in Victoria park. The trip, as you might expect, went hopelessly wrong leaving Boris dangling in the air calling for a rope.  Be careful what you ask for Boris.  If everyone who wished to see you on the end of a rope was allowed in the park, extensive crowd control would be needed.