OH, ISLAND IN THE S***

So the EU has developed another whizzo scheme to part citizens from their hard earned money, this time in Cyprus.  The money that the good people of Cyprus have deposited in the Cyprus banks will be taxed (or stolen, as it is more correctly known) at a rate of up to 10%. The EU and IMF have demanded the levy in return for a 10bn-euro (£8.6bn) bank bailout. This is essential so that bankers can receive their bonuses, the politicians get their inflated salaries and perks and the European “train de sauce au jus de viande” keeps rolling 

MIRROR, MIRROR

Nick Clegg has admitted that the Lib Dems must take a “long, hard look in the mirror”.  You bet.  Look in the mirror to make sure that Lord Rennard isn’t creeping up behind you, ready to grope your knees.

BYE BYE BAMBI

A cull of the growing population of deer in the UK has been called for by the University of East Anglia backed by TV presenter and naturalist Chris Packman.  There are now more than 1.5 million of the animals in the UK. They cause road accidents and destroy the environment and it is estimated that a 60% reduction in numbers is needed

There are now over 63 million people in the UK, a rise of over 4 million in 10 years.  They cause road accidents and destroy the environment.  Over to you Mr Packman

GRINNING LIKE A CHESHIRE CAT......

Senior executives at the Royal Bank of Scotland have been praised by the Prime Minister for their self-restraint in awarding themselves only £600m in bonuses, as a reflection of their major achievement of a £5.2b annual loss…., much as a result of serious malpractice……..and they say Alice was in Wonderland. 

TROT ROUND TO IKEA

Meatballs served in Ikea stores have been found to be contaminated with horsemeat.  A spokesman for Ikea said that the problem would have been identified earlier but the recipe was in Swedish and two of the ingredients were missing. Tests for Reindeer meat are still in progress.

AND THE WINNER IS .......

Well, the Italian elections are over and total chaos would appear to be the outcome. In the Senate Pier Luigi Bersani, of the Common Good Coalition, has most votes with around 10 million, while  Silvio Berlusconi, of the centre right coalition, and who still faces criminal charges for sleeping with an underage prostitute, a charge which he, of course, vehemently denies, follows closely with about 9.9 million votes.  Mario Monti  (with Monti for Italy) the man who has been trying to sort out Italy’s problems, was rewarded with a poor third ( 3.6 million). Meanwhile, in the Chamber of Deputies, the winner was Beppe Grillo, a stand up comedian, who says he will not form a coalition with any other party. So while stock markets around the world tumble at the news of the results, no one can say that the Italians aren’t taking the situation seriously.

I'M JUST SLIPPING OUT FOR A CURRY, DEAR.

I have just sat and listened to Edwina Curry, on the radio, going on about Lord Rennard, and spouting about his immorality touching ladies knees. Quite right said I.  Then I thought, Edwina Curry, isn’t she the one that was shagging Prime Minister Major?  Strange thing this immorality.