A TESTING TIME

Childrens’ performances  in English and maths, at the age of 11 will, in future, be compared on a national basis, said Nick Clegg.  The assessments  will be based on the results of yet another exam which is to be introduced, and will allow children to be classified as high, low or average performers.  More opportunities  for “teaching to the exam” and distorted league tables. It brings to mind the old country saying “You don’t fatten a pig by keep weighing it!”

THIS IS WI TU LO, YOUR CAPTAIN, SPEAKING.........

The airline Asiana is to sue the news channel KTSB for giving false, racially offensive names for the pilots involved in the San Francisco aircrash, as they felt that it would damage the company’s reputation. I think that you will find that bringing the flight in too slowly, missing the runway and knocking off the tail killing three passengers will probably have a far more deleterious effect                                                                  on Asiana’s good name.

BIG BROTHER

   Edward Swowden, a 29-year-old former technical assistant for the CIA is now the USA’s public enemy No 1. And his chrime?  Mass murder, plotting the downfall of civilisation as we know it or selling secrets to the enemy?  No, none of these. He has embarrassed the US  Government by revealing that they have access to the ordinary citizen’s e-mails, text messages and Twitter accounts and have shared these with the UK, the so-called home of democracy.

      And so will begin the call for his extradition back to the States.  Whilst it is obviously not acceptable to extradite someone to Jordan, because they may use evidence obtained by torture, it is OK to send them to America despite the USA having the death penalty ( especially if you’re black,) sponsoring  torture  (extraordinary rendition) an keeping people prisoners for years without charge or trial (Guantanamo Bay). It’s great to have standards but double standards are twice as good!

FRIED CHICKENGATE

We’re at it again, concentrating on the trivia of life and ignoring the big issues.  Sergio Garcia has committed the heinous and unforgivable crime of suggesting that he would invite Tiger Woods to dinner and serve fried chicken.  I can hear the sighs of horror…… fried chicken. There are demands that Garcia be sacked, banned from golf or hung drawn and quartered for this outrageous behaviour. Thank heavens there is nothing more important happening such as homicidal religious maniacs wandering the streets, the financial backbone of the western world collapsing or global warming altering our weather patterns.  Honestly…..fried chicken.

PLAY IT AGAIN, UNCLE SAM!

So after the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq,(which didn’t exist), and Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan,(he was in Pakistan) we now have the use of chemical weapons in Syria.  Those clever chaps in the US Secret Service have spotted an irrefutable fact which will mean that the Americans and their attack poodles can move into yet another country, bomb the bejabbers out of the population and then have absolutely no idea how to sort out the mess.   President Obama has described the use of chemical weapons, if confirmed, as a” game changer.”  No Mr President, I think that you will find that it’s just the same old game.

POOR LITTLE RICH BOY

Barclay’s bank has awarded the appropriately named Rich Ricci, its investment banking chief, a shares bonus of £17.5 million which he can cash instantly and choose, if he wishes, to use to purchase further racehorses for his string.  Yes, this is the same Barclay’s that was fined heavily for the Libor scandal. The news was released on budget day prompting the accusation that Barclay’s were burying bad news.  Never mind, Mr Ricci may be comforted after the string of abuse and criticism that will surely come his way by the thought that, thanks to that nice Mr ‘we’re all in it together’ Cameron and his reduced top rate of tax, he will also receive an additional £27K on his salary. 

WHO TOOK THE 'P' FROM PINT

The budget has been presented and only the sound of deckchairs scraping on decks was heard, but one gleam of light was the penny off the price of a pint of beer.  That does however mean that you have to drink a hundred pints to save a pound. Ah well.  That’s going to be tough, but someone’s got to do it