MEOW

Does anyone else believe that George Galloway looked smug following his victory in the Bradford West by-election, talk about the cat that got the cream! 

DON'T PANIC!!!

I thought that a copy of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which has Don't Panic in large friendly letters on the front of it, would be useful for the Government. While Cameron desperately tries to remember where and when he last ate a pasty and whether it was hot or ambient, while Francis Maude searches through Wikipedia for the definition of jerrycan*, while the petrol queues grow and the backlash over tax relief for the rich and the "granny tax" continues, the government tells us not to panic.  Its not us that are panicking, it's you!  Thank God Miliband E. will be standing by, ready to take over the reins, boosted by his Bradford by-election victory. What could possibly go wrong there.

 *( a 20L steel can of German invention, hence jerrycan, the Wehrmachtskanister is used by the military to store petrol etc, and is too large to be stored legally domestically.) 

CIVIL UNREST PREDICTED

The authorities are preparing for civil unrest between motorists queuing for petrol and pedestrians queuing at Greggs waiting for their pasties to cool, so that they can avoid the VAT.

PUNISHMENT OF THE INNOCENT

I once heard this tale from the US. A guy was fishing from his little rowing boat when he saw a water snake with a frog in its mouth. Being of a kindly disposition he grabbed the snake and rescued the frog. But then he thought that he had deprived the poor snake of its dinner. He looked around the boat and the only consumable on board was a bottle of bourbon.  So he administered a slug of it to the snake. The snake disappeared below the water and reappeared with two frogs in its mouth.
Moral:  If you reward the behavior you don't want you'll get more of the same.

This is rather like the current financial crisis in which we are enmeshed.  Part of the problem was the irresponsible behavior of the bankers, so while they continue much as before their bonuses are still paid.
Part was caused by individuals who ran up huge personal debts, so interest rates are reduced to make the pain of their excesses bearable.  What was needed was for people to save so that they will be secure in their old age.  So the actions of both this, and the previous government, has been to raid the pension funds and ensure that the returns on savings is so low that savers loose money.  Expect more frogs.

WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN

After mis-selling of endowments and payment protection insurance, watch this space, the next one up is credit cards.  Whenever you go to the bank they will always try to get you to take out a new credit card, no matter what state your finances are in and how unsuitbable the offering is.  Here we go again.

DEAD TRUE

Have you ever wondered why war crimes are apparently only committed by the side that loses a war.  This must either mean that the good guys always win or………

GOD BLESS

The USA is about to do what it does best. Bomb the bejabus out of another sovereign country, leaving total chaos in its wake. After the successful attack on Iraq to destroy the weapons of mass destruction, which weren’t there, and Afghanistan, to get Osama Bin Laden, who was in Pakistan at the time, based on infallible information from the CIA, the USA are about to attack Iran, in search of the Sandman and the Tooth Fairy. 

NOBRAINER

                                                                                                                                                                        

OMG!   Oh my Gove.   So Gove has spoken.  Teachers are not to be taught, in future, in Training Colleges and Universities, but in Schools. Where on Earth, or in his case where on planet Zogg, does Gove think the resource will come from. How will each school have the time and the individual skills to train staff in all theoretical aspects of teaching as well as dealing with a constantly changing curriculum and numerous government initiatives……. oh yes, and teaching the pupils.  Mind you Gove was the one who said a “satisfactory” performance was no longer acceptable. Chambers Dictionary actually defines “satisfactory” as “acceptable”.  It’s that pesky English language again Mr. Gove. It is said that every village has one, but do we really need an idiot on a national scale.