SOUTH OF THE BORDER......

Does this sound familiar?

Ring. Ring.  (After pressing options 1, 2, 1, 3 and 4.)

Your phone call may be recorded and played back at our Christmas party, to show what idiots some of our customers are.

Hello, is that HSBC?

Yes. My name is Christine, How can I help you?

I’d like to open an ISA please.

Name?

Iva Halfabrain.

Date of birth?

1^st Feb 1948

Mother’s maiden name?

Simpson-Smythe

Mother’s first pet dog’s name?

FiFi.

The  number of your bank account, omitting 1s,6s and 9’s.

What?

The third letter of the name of the company to which you made a payment from your account on 15^th Feb 2011?.

Oh forget it!  I’ll put it on the dogs.

And the reason for this interrogation?  To avoid money laundering.  What a pity that HSBC didn’t exercise the same care when Pedro rang up from San Fernando wanting to place billions of dollars of drug proceeds. 

The moral of the story is  “ If you’re going to cheat, cheat big!.”