ASSANGER THAN FICTION

Following a lost appeal in Britain’s Supreme Court,  Antipidean  whistle blower, Julian Assange may well be heading for a short Scandinavian break.  He lost the appeal on a majority decision following some pretty esoteric arguments involving” the Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties”, as not discussed in court, and what constitutes a "competent judicial authority”.  The fear is that, once in Sweden for questioning, Mr Assange will be handed over to the USA authorities who still have unfinished business with him.  Assange, through his website Wikileaks, made public thousands of confidential e-mails, much to the embarrassment of the US and UK.  Shortly afterwards, in a totally unrelated incident, the consensual sex which JA claimed he had indulged in with a couple of Wikileaks workers suddenly became non-consensual.  Mr Assange was warned at the time of the release of the e mails, that putting these documents into the public arena could well put individuals in great danger.  Well, that has certainly proved true for one person, himself.

A BEECROFT IN HIS BONNET

It appears that the redoubtable Dr Cable is fighting the good fight on behalf of the ordinary citizen, against the onslaught of the Tories and their Hurray Henry advisors. The latest being venture capitalist and financial loony Adrian Beecroft.  Beecroft claims that allowing the summary dismissal of staff will lead to improved employment opportunities. What next?  The  elimination of all quadrapeds on Earth to create additional openings for evolution and the killing of all male children to generate  improved opportunities for women?  The ordinary worker is feeling insecure and is therefore unwilling to spend, and this is part of our current financial problem.  Will it be improved by the addition of a sword of Damocles?  I suspect not!  Think again Mr Beecroft…or even better ……… just think.

CHANGING CHANNELS

Today, the death was announced of Eugene Polley, the inventor of the television remote control, aged 96.

He would have died some time ago but the Grim Reaper was unable to find him.  He was hiding under the sofa.

STICKS AND STONES

…..may break my bones but names can never hurt me.  Or so you thought.  A coalition of MPs across the political spectrum are calling for the scrapping of Section Five of the Public Order Act which makes the use of insulting words or behaviour illegal.  The act makes it a criminal offence to use a word which might be likely to cause offence. The haul of super criminals to date includes Peter Tatchell for protesting against the Islamist group Hizb ut-Tahrir , who advocate the death penalty for homosexuals, and a student who suggested that a police horse was gay (good thing for the horse that he escaped the attention of  Hizb ut-Tahrir).  It is goodbye free speech and only one step from the “Thought Police”. What idiot was responsible for that.  OMG, that could be regarded as an insulting comment.  Is that a knock on my door. Farewell.  See you in Wormwood Scrubs.

JUNK STATUS

The credit rating agency Moody's has downgraded 16 Spanish banks after an alleged run on Bankia, Spain’s fourth largest bank, and worry about the Spanish government’s ability to shore up their banking system. But wait, is this not the same Moody’s that rated the US junk investments, based on sub-prime mortgages as AAA?  Who is watching the watchers, who is rating the rating agencies.  Who gave these undemocratic, secretive, organisations all this power?  Rating CCC , I think.

IT'S ALL GREEK TO ME

The world breathes a sigh of relief as the Greek financial crisis is over.  With politicians unable to agree on a functional coalition, a new election is to be held in five weeks time.  Think of the work involved , new voting slips to be printed, polling stations to be manned, votes to be counted……. work for thousands of Greeks……  a  true growth industry.  Repeat every five weeks and the problem’s solved. 

HUNT

Charlie Brooks has described the attack on his wife as a witch hunt.  That's hardly gallant, Charlie, but I hope you enjoy life as a toad.

FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS

Rebekah Brooks, the former chief executive of News International, and five others  from the same organisation, will be charged with perverting the course of justice, according to the Crown Prosecution Service.   The titian-haired Medusa described the charge as a ‘weak and unjust’ decision and accused the CPS of ‘unprecedented posturing’. The charge is that she tried to conceal evidence from detectives investigating phone hacking, although the cream of investigative brilliance assigned to this case could always have used the sacks of evidence that they already had stored in their own cellars.  Before the politicians allow themselves excessive gloating over Mrs Brooks’ fate, just remember that, if she goes down, she’ll be aiming to take other miscreants with her.

SUMMER IS A-COMING IN

In the UK by-elections, both coalition partners took a severe hammering, with voters favouring the financial brilliance of the Labour party.  In Greece, electors have supported those opposed to austerity, pity they don’t appear to be able to form a working government…...still, apparently, no-one else is working in Greece.  In France, Dutch Frankie has said that he wants to renegotiate the country’s repayments and there are even mutterings in the Netherlands.  After the Arab Spring comes the European Summer.  The little man is being heard, the worms are beginning to turn.  And as they lower your casket into the ground, just remember, the worms have the last word.

THE GERMANS HAVE A WORD FOR IT

The French have elected François Hollande as their new president with 51.7% of the votes in an election run-off.  And there will be changes!  Hollande says that austerity will not be the only approach and that he will re-negotiate the French debt repayments.  I wonder if Dutch Frankie remembers the problems that Britain had with the negotiations over the EEC and the De Gaul ‘Non’, well now the tables are turned and its the French who will have trouble with Angela Merkel and the German ‘Nein’.  What goes around comes around.

GOING DOWN

So, the election was the bloodbath that was predicted with most of the blood being that of the Liberal Democrats and the Conservatives.  The good old British voters whole-heartedly put their faith in the Labour Party, showing that, collectively, they have the attention span of a gnat and the memory of a goldfish.  Who do they think caused the problems?  Still, maybe it’s the British sense of fair play and the thought that Labour should be given a chance to finish the job. Well its obvious where we’re all heading!  Anybody lend me a handcart.

CAPITAL IDEA

Boris Johnson has been re-elected Mayor of London, narrowly beating Ken Livingston into second place by 3% on second preference votes. The bouffant-haired buffoon now has a further four years to bring his own brand of amiable anarchy to the capital.  Mr Cameron please note, you don’t have to be a posh, rich, ex public school and an Oxbridge graduate to succeed…hang on a minute, maybe that’s not quite correct.  Meanwhile UKIP, has played a blinder, pre-spoiling its own ballot papers by including the wrong party name.  Brilliant !

NOBODY WINS

Polling takes place in parts of England, Scotland and Wales today.  More than 4,700 English council seats are being contested, all the seats of Scotland's 32 unitary authorities are up for grabs and the make-up of 21 unitary authorities in Wales will also be decided. And what a choice!  Labour, the party who spent all our money and left us with massive debts, the Tories, who have shown their true colours by cutting tax rates for the ultra rich and the Quisling Lib. Dems., who sold out their principles for a share of power.  And then there’s a rag bag of minor parties, The Greens, Respect, The Monster Raving Loonies, UKIP, the National Front and even the Pirate Party in Cornwall, amongst others.  Then we have the mayoral elections, including a choice for London between Bumbling Boris and Crafty Ken. And moving North to the SNP, the fish-based Mafia of Salmond and Sturgeon, craving independence and the re-establishment of the arc of prosperity (remember that, Ireland, Scotland, Iceland and Norway, now mostly bust).  God help us.  One thing is for sure, expect a bigger blood bath than the Haigh murders of the 40s.

PRONOUNCEMENT

On Tuesday, the Culture, Media and Sports Parliamentary Committee produced a damning report regarding the phone hacking scandal, which lead to the closure of The News of the World.

Unfortunately, they incorporated the statement that Murdoch was not a ‘fit and proper’ person to run a major international communications company, thereby splitting the committee along party lines and diverting attention from their main findings.  The ‘fit and proper’ designation is the remit of Ofcom, ladies and gentlemen, and should have been left to them, rather than being used to settle personal vendettas.

The result of all this?  News Corporation’s board has given Murdoch their full backing, Ofcom says it will take its own time to decide the ‘fit and proper’ question and The Sun, Murdoch’s flagship paper in the UK, demonstating that it intends to maintain its current high journalistic standards, produced  a front page headline, mocking the speech impediment of Roy Hodgson, the new England football manager. Outwageous!